My internal family systems (iFS) Approach
My approach in working with others is grounded in Internal Family Systems (IFS), a philosophy that acknowledges the “multiplicity of the mind,” or the idea that we are not one mind with thoughts and feelings running through it, but instead a core, “self” with many “parts.”
Self is at our core and is filled with infinite resources such as compassion, calm, courage, creativity, intuition, healing energy, clarity, connectedness, and confidence. We also have parts, entities whose only intention is to help us and our internal system.
However, due to uncomfortable experiences or trauma, some have learned to assist us in ways that are extreme and no longer serve us. Examples of this include self-limiting beliefs, procrastination, low self esteem, overindulging, or negative self-talk.
When these parts “blend” with us—in a way, taking over—we can have less access to our inner resources. When this happens, we may feel less like ourselves, fatigued, fall prey to worry, or engage in behaviors we later regret.
The practice of IFS, or engaging in “parts work,” helps parts know and understand the self better so that those in extreme roles can soften and even change how they relate to the overall system, thus allowing us more lasting access to these wonderful qualities, and help us to feel more centered, inspired, and engaged. We learn to act from a place of self leadership whereby we interact with the world and our parts with compassion, intuition, and confidence.
Through the practice of IFS, I have seen amazing transformations both in myself and those I have worked with, shown in things like increased confidence, improved relationships, gratitude, and excitement about life in general.
What you can expect:
The journey begins with awareness.
Using internal family systems coaching, we’ll honor ways in which you’ve already grown and healed and set our sights on where you want to go next. We start using parts language or listening to and speaking from our parts to acknowledge our multiplicity and the beings within who work so hard to help us.
We’ll build a “parts map,” or a visual representation of what we notice about our parts and how they relate to each other. We can then start the exercise of directly connecting to our parts, engaging them in internal conversation, getting to know their stories and how they came to be doing what they do.
We interweave information that will be of use to them—updating them about self and how self can support them. At times we come upon young, exile parts who carry “burdens” or feelings and memories of more difficult times. When these exiles are “unburdened” and are able to express and release what they’ve been carrying, even more growth and expansion occurs with our systems. Often, we come across protector parts whose main job is to shield other parts, or who are holding on to modes of being that may no longer serve you.
After working with your parts, you may notice shifts in your way of thinking or relating to others, renewed curiosity in the world around you, increased self-compassion, a feeling of freedom and expansiveness, and a better understanding of how to address and mend uncomfortable emotions and thoughts, with the main goal of achieving integration where parts and self work together in harmony.
My work also incorporates spiritual practices such as calling on guides, protectors, and ancestors to create a healing, protective space and also to allow for ancestral burdens to be released.
IFS is a practice you can learn to do on your own, and I help clients build a practice of internal connection that can be in the form of meditation or simply increased awareness of how to meet parts from self in various situations to create increased wellbeing. Sessions can be held either virtually or in my office in Cow Hollow, San Francisco.